Wow, I am amazed, and not in a good way. When I started doing some research for this article I couldn’t believe some of the garbage that is online. I guess you just have to take what you read online with a huge grain of salt. So, if you want to figure out are you the alpha in your relationship, all you have to do is open your eyes.
Most of the articles I read were by men who advertise themselves as some sort of dating gurus. I laugh every time I see those types of sites. As a woman, I can tell you that much of it is garbage. Sure, sometimes you can find an insecure woman and „play“ her and use her insecurities against her, but to what end?
Is that really the type of relationship that someone would want? I don’t know, maybe it is. If so I suggest that anyone who likes finding women that way takes a long hard look at them self because it really doesn’t say anything good about you.
If you have to resort to these manipulation tactics just to meet women you are as pathetic and insecure as they are.
Every relationship will have it’s leader, or alpha. And no, it won’t always be the man. Sometimes women can be the alpha too. But, are you the alpha in your relationship, and is that the best part to play?
I may not be an expert, nor do I go online and pretend to be one, but I have to say that in my experience there is a natural give and take in a good, healthy relationship.
In my own relationships I consider myself to be the alpha in some aspects but my partner is the alpha in others. In every relationship each person should be bringing their own strengths to the relationship. And since no one is good at everything, I think the alpha role will ebb and flow.
One day you may find that your particular strengths are needed, and for that time, at least, you become the alpha. Yet the next day you may find that a certain situation needs the strengths of your partner, which may well be your weakness so they then will become the alpha.
You’ve probably heard the saying „absolute power corrupts absolutely“. I personally think that is why it is best to have this ebb and flow of the „power“ in a relationship. Both of you get to be „on top“ some of the time.
That means that all the power isn’t always in the control of one person in the relationship. If that happens and one person is always in control no matter what the situation, the tendency is there for them to take their partner for granted and take advantage of them.
It can also make the other partner, the one with no real power, jealous and angry. This scenario, having one partner with all the power and another partner always feeling like the powerless „sidekick“ is not, in my opinion, the best chance for a loving and healthy relationship.
So, if you really want a good relationship, one in which you are able and willing to give as well as take, find someone who you can share the alpha position with. I think in the end that makes for the best relationships. Then you won’t need to ask are you the alpha in your relationship, you’ll already know that you are… sometimes.