Hey, it’s a whole new year and if one of your resolutions was to start the New Year with a different dating approach, this article may just be able to help.
There are many things you can change if you want to start the New Year with a different dating approach. I guess the first step would be to figure out which behaviors, concerning your dating habits, you want to change.
Taking some time to determine where you are „going wrong“ so that you can make the necessary changes makes sense. You can’t just flail around making one change after another, you have to take a far more objective approach so that you don’t stop doing the things that you should be doing.
So, try these tips to help you identify where you may be going wrong so you can make changes:
1. If you simply aren’t sure what mistakes you are making in your dating life, ask your friends and family. They will be happy to tell you. As a matter of fact, they probably already have, you just might not have wanted to listen to them.
If someone you trust tells you that you are too quick to settle for someone or that you are too prone to ignoring warning signs early in the relationship, you should listen.
This is exactly the type of constructive criticism you can learn from and use it as a foundation to change your outlook and approach to dating.
2. If you can, you may want to consider a few visits to a counselor. Some people get insulted by this type of suggestion, they view it as a sign that they are doing something wrong.
But going to a counselor is just a way for you to get some advice from someone who is totally objective. Even the best meaning of your friends can’t be totally objective.
That doesn’t mean that you aren’t getting good advice from your friend, it just means that a counselor can add another element. Heck, your friends may very well be making the same mistakes you are so it may be a case of the blind leading the blind.
That is far less likely to happen if you are seeing someone who is professionally trained to help you diagnose issues that you may have in regards to your relationships.
3. Once you’ve identified some of the least helpful aspects of your dating life, you need to set up a specific game plan to make changes. For most of us, it’s not enough to just say „I need to make changes“.
For the most part, if we aren’t specific we won’t get results. So try, and ask your friends and/ or counselor for help with this, to make a specific plan to make changes.
For example, lets say that you are too prone to move too quickly. Why not make a „pact“ with yourself that you won’t talk about taking your relationship to the next level for at least 2 months. Or you will wait until your partner brings it up.
See, that is something very specific you can do to help you stop doing the destructive things you have been doing in your relationships.
I hope this helps. Good luck with your goal to start the New Year with a different dating approach. It is a worthy goal and with these tips it may just be an easier goal to keep then you thought it would be.